Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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