Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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