The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
