We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
