My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize