everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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