its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We left an ass print on the piano.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
