Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
