He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
