dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize