Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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