You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
