I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
