so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
