Dual....:-)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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