I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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