i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
