she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
