I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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