I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
