Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
