woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
