sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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