I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
