I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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