Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
