Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
