is your mom at the bar?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
