Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
