Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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