He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
