So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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