I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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