They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize