you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it was like eating out sand paper
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
