OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
