We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
