After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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