What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize