u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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