so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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