there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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