Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
