What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
