cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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