problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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