how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
