let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
