I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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