Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
