he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize