can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
