Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
