Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
