found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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