Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im holly from the hills drunk
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
