If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
