She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
