Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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