My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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